Living with a chronic illness that has no visual signs can be more of an emotional struggle than a physical struggle at times. Accepting one’s own illness is a step that most people come to terms with it at some point; because, in order to have the best life one can, one needs to be educated on the disease and treat it to the best of his or her ability.

Making those we care about accept it, or even acknowledge it, is out of our control. The skepticism of others about our illness may last a lifetime and cause deep wounds; our relationships and even our own self-worth suffer.

So, what you do when someone important in your life refuses to acknowledge the seriousness of your disease, or accept that the disease even exists? Here are four steps to change your actions and attitudes:

1. Go with it. Don’t take yourself and your predicament too seriously when you’re around the person. Understand that there is no magical discussion you can have that will make him change his mind. The odds are, the only way he will change his mind is by simply observing you and noticing your invisible illness as it begins to show some visible side effects. Your limitations, such as walking a long-distance, may become obvious without you having to explain it.

2. Grow with it. Use this as a time to reflect on your own perceptions of people. When you are standing in line at the store and become irritated because “Surely no one here knows how hard it is just for me to stand!” think twice. Nearly 1 in 2 people in the USA have a chronic illness and about 96% of it is invisible, so the odds are that someone in line likely is experiencing the same chronic pain and fatigue. Also, what situations are your friends experiencing that you don’t understand? A child with a disability, the affair of a spouse, the loss of a job-all are life-altering and the odds are that your friends could use your empathy and support during this time.

3. Get over it. You may find yourself thinking “No one understands!” so frequently that you are missing out on new friendships. Save yourself the grief and don’t obsess over how much people sympathize or if they do it appropriately. Though we would all like a loved one to be able to experience what it would be like to slip inside our skin for twenty-four hours, it’s never going to happen. If people around you feel like they can never please you, soon you won’t have any relationships left. You cannot change how someone else thinks; you only have control over your own behavior. So make sure your conversations are full of grace.

4. Get on with it. No material things in this world can replace relationships you have. If a loved one doesn’t acknowledge your illness, it’s true that the depth of your friendship will never be what it could be. But if the relationship is healthy in other ways, and one worth saving, you can keep it.

Plus, chances are that your friend will encounter a health setback at some point in his life. He will have a glimpse into what you have been experiencing and he may even seek you out for advice. Give your support and encouragement generously and avoid saying, “I told you so.”

Go with it. Grow with it. Get over it. Get on with it.

Is it possible to have relationships with people who don’t understand the seriousness of your illness? Yes. Accept him for what he is able to give, and know when to back off if the relationship becomes destructive to your emotional state. Have reasonable expectations. In time, this may end up being one of your closest friendships.